What is the last thing you learned?

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows”

Epictetus

I’ve just started listening to the Bedros Keullian show on Spotify and one of the quotes that stood out to me was: How you do anything is how you do everything.

What this means is, if you do anything, do it with your best ability, because if you don’t, you won’t do anything with your full ability. Another way of considering this is sweat the small stuff because all the small stuff adds up to the big stuff.

Secondly, I’ve been a follower of Stoic philosophy for a while now – a couple of years to say the least, following the Jocko podcast (although not explicitly Stoic, his thoughts and advice aligns closely with that of your perception of an event determines your reality. After some recent experiences, this couldn’t be closer to the truth.

How you view a situation determines whether it’s good or bad and the better your perception, the more you can cope with.

Short and sweet for now, going to try and keep this up.

University debt culture

So; one of the main things that university inadvertently encourages is debt – not just in the form of heinously large student loans (with interest!) but also with overdrafts.

There was a strange attitude around how overdrawn people were in uni, with it almost being comedic to have been overdrawn more than a friend. “Oh, you’re only 500 quid over, you’re loaded mate you still have 1500 quid left!” Failing to realise that actually, that money “left” is what is left of what the bank would give you… not your actual money. It’s just another hole that you have to climb out of when you leave and have to get a job.

This could’ve just been me and my perception, trying to hide behind bullshit bravado rather than take personal responsibility and do something about it. Students don’t take responsibility, right?

Now, I don’t think this is a problem with the universities as institutions themselves, I think it becomes more of a problem with society. Or at least, the carefree nature of student society.

Having a part time job was fantastic to allow me to eat, but it also meant that I would get paid weekly. This meant that it didn’t matter if I’d run out of money by Wednesday, I would borrow a few quid of a friend and pay him back when Friday came around again. But, what I didn’t click onto was this three year attitude of “oh, it’ll be okay” should quickly change when you leave.

It becomes very hard to unlearn old habits. You can’t instil a new habit unless you have the want and need to do so and the discipline to implement it. Turning this on overnight certainly isn’t impossible, but it’s challenging.

I would say it took me nearly 18 months to get over the fact that that I wasn’t at uni anymore. Not that I wasn’t a student, but that those thought processes would not serve me.

A combination of no responsibility (no kids and living at home with my parents), a few low paying jobs in fairly quick succession and no one aside from my parents to say buck your ideas up. Not a great recipe. (Why would I listen to my parents when I’m 21 and I know everything!!?) (Lol – moron).

Which gets me back to not going to university immediately at 18. You are too young and have no real world exposure yet to a) fully make the most of your degree (no one cares about your 2:2! and b) to learn some money skills which will serve you quickly when you leave

I’ve discussed the age topic before but the money skills is very important. Something that many educational facilities miss and something you are left to try and learn yourself (with help from your parents if you’re interested in being taught).

Maybe it could be an ongoing topic during uni – “money management”, or perhaps, students are penalised/ not able to sit essays/ exams if they are overdrawn? Thus creating a better understanding of the importance of money management. Take a couple of years to build a base line – go to university but still keep those finances in check – and then you’re free to enter the real world.

Perhaps with hindsight that would’ve been a good idea for me. But, hindsight is a lovely thing and no one knows the impact of any decision.

Social media experiment – part 3.

So, today at the time of writing – it’s been just over one month since I quit social media (Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). I hadn’t actively used Facebook for a very long time but the account was deactivated anyway.

What have I discovered? Well, in the last month, I have definitely become more engaged with tasks. I am no longer skipping between what I’m doing and my phone. I can read a book for a longer period of time, am able to hold conversation better with people, and generally just don’t have a need to be on my phone.

Mainly and most importantly though – I am not concerned with the day to day chaos that social media (Twitter really) throws at you in a bid to keep you engaged. I don’t have a want to argue with everyone I see who opposes my viewpoint and there is no need to constantly check the latest “crisis” that needs me to be informed on and waste my time pandering over.

My life no longer revolves around every disaster or political issue or divisive conflict. Instead I can just focus on living my life and not be distracted by all of the noise that social media brings through its tirade of fake “influencers” and algorithm induced polarisation.

I would definitely say my life has improved in the last month; less chaos and frustration. Life brings enough frustration as it is, why do I need an AI created feed to give me more? “Because everyone else is on there!” Good for them – I don’t need to be like everyone else to enjoy myself.

To paraphrase Jared Lanier – the best way to escape the insanity of the modern day is to delete your social media accounts.

Do yourself a favour and delete them, if not delete them then just delete the app for a few days and give yourself a break, you won’t regret it!

Social Media Experiment part 2.

So, with the week long experiment over, I have decided to continue the no social media use for the foreseeable future. Having spent time away from both Twitter and Instagram, I’ve realised how little it actually offers my life.

It helps to bridge the gap between doing something and doing nothing: in the sense, you’re mindlessly scrolling but you aren’t actually achieving anything – distracting, basically.

For a long time I was on Twitter under the guise I was “learning” and “keeping informed”. But, what did I learn? Other than the opinions of some qualified people and some not qualified people.. I didn’t learn anything. Keeping up with the addiction of needing to know wasn’t getting me anywhere, either. Only distracting me from being present in what I am doing.

My observations that I noted are as follows:

Day 1: screen time at 2pm – 1hr 9 mins. Occasional want for scrolling via Instagram but it stops when I see the app isn’t there. Battery usually close to dead by this time but at 50% still!

Screen time end of day 1- 3 hours 30 minutes. I saw zero inflammatory information and I found that my phone uses were for tangible purposes today as consciously seeking to use the phone for something productive. Also began reading “10 arguments to delete your social media accounts right now” and to be honest, if an initial creator of social media is stating that we should all delete our accounts now before we end up in hell, I think he’s worth at least considering. Especially with “the majority of Silicon Valley CEOs sending their kids to Waldorf schools” (which are anti technology).

Anyway. It’s 11pm, I’m going to finish my tea and head to bed. I look forward to day 2.

Day 2:

1200 – 2 hours screen time.

It’s easier to be more productive or do nothing.

Doing nothing quickly becomes boring so doing something productive then becomes the only option.

Another day of no inflammatory thoughts or negative reactions. A slight urge for the dopamine feedback loop but nothing over controlling to reinstate the carnage. A quote from the book – “the best way to escape the insanity of society is to delete social media” Jared Lanier.

I have found myself sending more pointless texts to friends to try and gain entertainment that is missing through social media

Usual desire for lunchtime scrolling is back and the want to see the purple camera of Instagram was high. Day 2 and no constant dopamine feedback loop is becoming a slight struggle. What do I think about? How do I entertain myself In my mind? The “lost” feeling ended by the time I got home which led to a much easier evening

Day 3: woke up early this morning, instead of wanting to look through social media, I looked at old pictures and reminisced on actual memories rather than got jealous about other people doing things.

Beginning to feel freer from my phone. It’s an asset not a time consuming constrain. Mental engagement has increased in individual tasks – no longer feel like I’m distracted by things as easily like NEEDING to check for an update. What am I going to miss? Some Instagram model uploading a picture of her ass? A fitness person uploading a workout… the world will still keep turning.

I’m studying for a nutrition course and I have just opened up onto a new module page – I have seen the course provider on Instagram repost people’s pictures of themselves studying and I tried to take the same photo for an app I’m not using. Interesting 🤔

Day 4: didn’t even realise I was missing it until a friend mentioned a new choice for the England rugby squad. Spent more time on emails and meaningful messages

Day 5: don’t even think about using it. Thoughts are way more collected – phone use is more productive: ie – learning about finance, investing and cryptos, etc. What trends on Twitter doesn’t matter anymore, it’s no longer a “big deal”. Daily “breaking news” – can you remember yesterday’s headline?

Far more peaceful/ free of trigger points – whether that be an opinion I disagree with or an inflammatory discussion about some new “woke” movement where the PC police decide what is right and wrong to say. Thoughts are free and Ungoverned

“I like the world again; far less chaos”

What happens in other countries etc doesn’t matter to me – it helps me to understand what I can and can’t control

Day 6: Saturday lunchtime- screen time 23 minutes. No need/ want or desire to get back to my phone

Enjoyed a phone free breakfast, talking with family and enjoying the moment, technology free. Interesting change in one week.

Absolutely no want to even browse Instagram and looking at family members on Instagram / Facebook mindlessly scrolling is a strange thing to consider normal

Not even a conscious thing on Sunday. Nothing to note as no thoughts about it. Screen time down 22% on the previous week. Still high but a lot better use of the phone

Overall, I think I have done well in 1 week. I have changed my use and don’t feel beholden to checking Instagram or Twitter every second. I will be continuing along this path for a bit longer to see what else I notice about the social media machines.

Basic productivity hacks

I’ve been thinking for a while how to become more productive and use my time a bit better. What can I implement to stop the same: “oh I wish I had time for that..” “I don’t know how they do it all..” etc etc. So, my three thoughts that I kept coming back to are…

Stop drinking.

A period of sobriety will not only make you feel better but you’ll also have more money, more time and more energy to get on with the things that truly matter; rather than trying to right the wrongs of the world, half cut – seeing double whilst sucking in your double chin and beer bloat.

Now, removing alcohol alone won’t be the saviour to your inconsistencies and your time wasting, but, it’ll give you a lot more opportunities. Early mornings, some evenings, etc. By filling your drinking time with productive time, you’ll achieve more and feel better about what you can accomplish – exercise, your ever growing to do list, etc.

Saturday will mark a month off the booze for me and I’ve been exercising better (more frequency and intensity) and reading more – so it does work – and just generally feeling better too but that’s not the point here.

Start exercising.

40 minutes of heart raising exercise, whether that be cardio or body weight exercises (sit ups, press ups, squats, etc) it’ll boost your endorphins, you’ll feel better once you’ve finished and any challenge that you need to take on will feel significantly more manageable. If you can, try and keep your exercise to the early morning, getting a positive action in first thing will only lead to move positivity throughout the day.

Plan.

Plan what you want to do, what you want to achieve. A strict “To Do” list is important so you know what you need to get done and it can be empowering to visually see the list crumble as you plough through it in your hive of productivity.

Ideally, write your list the night before. That way you have set your intentions for the following day, read it when you first wake up to reaffirm those intentions and get it done, tick them off as you go and reflect in the evening about what you have achieved. By going to bed fulfilled, you’ll be more likely to want to have a good day again tomorrow – after that – positive routine becomes hard to break.

Let me know how you get on! 👊🏼

Check in

Well everything has certainly been a bit more than topsy turvy over the last few months. A job change, house move, an international viral pandemic. Things aren’t quite what they used to be.

I’m still contemplating my life, what to do and which journey to take. It’s very difficult to make the right decision but I suppose the best thing is to follow your passions and do what you want to do for fun.

We’ll see if I have the guts to continue in pursuing my hobbies for work.

Sober musings

Clarity of thought.

One of the biggest things I have noticed over the last twenty days or so (not that long, I know) is the real clarity of thought.

Yet again, I have picked the wrong job and I am trying to weigh up some new options.

But, what I am noticing at the minute is a real clarity of thought, accompanied by journaling to write them out – which helps even more.

Keeping my thoughts in better check has meant I’m not rushing into making decisions and am will know I’m making the right decision, whichever that may be.

23 days in today. Feeling fantastic.

Plans for 2020

Here we have another grandiose list of ‘new years resolutions’; but hopefully, I can stick to them. Says everyone..! (I wonder how many people have quit the gym already?)

I have already discussed my aspiration to go sober for 12 months and enjoy/ endure what I experience just from natural feelings alone, rather than a numbed up alcohol induced state. Also, because why not? Save money, be healthier, better myself, to name but a few pro’s.

But, the one I am really interested in is learning how to make money online. How can I create a secondary income stream and decrease my reliance on the month-to-month paycheck? It sounds like a great idea, I know! “Wouldn’t that be nice!”

This blog is one that I am going to be putting more attention into as well. I need to offer weekly posts, at least, in order to grow an audience who are willing to endure my aimless ramblings. I will try and offer some sort of similarity, a theme perhaps, but that will be difficult. I have no clear picture where to take this blog so I am just getting stuff out there, see what happens and all that jazz. It’s very likely that topic discussions will range from last nights rugby match to a long weekend with friends. Who knows the topic? I don’t! Why pigeon hole the content – let it go where it needs to.

So hold on and enjoy the ride! Feel free to like or comment on anything, interaction will help the direction!

Life hacks for Graduates: go sober.

In order for you to understand your direction and the path your taking, time away from mind numbing and emotionally killing substances – alcohol – is a must.

With a prolonged break from booze, I’m talking a month or more, you’ll being to engage with your thoughts on a far clearer scale than you previously had. And, you’ll also have a few extra quid to do the “Ive always wanted to do that” thing.

Coming up to leaving university is a scary time for you, there’s plenty of change and the impending doom of returning home to live with your parents after 3 (or more) years of Braveheart-esk “freedom”.

But, with a little change to your mid-year routine and some time away from the booze, as well as the ridiculous antics that uni drinking brings – you will hopefully develop a slightly clearer plan of your upcoming future.

Getting Started on Sobriety

This year offers a particular challenge: a sober 2020. I’ll be testing myself against the social metric of “you’re the odd one out if you’re not drinking”.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a beer.. probably too much. That’s why I’ve decided to have a break, 12 months of clear thinking and boundless energy. Hmm, we’ll see.

Various incidences of alcohol induced amnesia have allowed for the situation where a break from the devils nectar is probably a sensible choice. I underwent a 2 month spell of sobriety last year and felt like the King of the world afterwards.

I’m not sure why I jumped back on the boozing bandwagon, probably a lack of hobbies to fill the newly found free time.

I’ve smashed a week, a month will come soon enough. Again, no great achievement but it’s a start. Let’s see how this goes!