A year on..

I have seen a fair amount of stuff around over the last year about the post-university struggle and thought I’d offer my take on how the last year has panned out.

So, up and down to say the least. Confusing, depressing, anxiety fueling, frustrating, saddening, boring! But, also, opportunistic, progressive and an opportunity for real self development.

My Masters year ended with the obligatory last 100-yard dash of final edits before the dissertation required binding in time to be posted. It was a brilliant, fast-paced and inspiring year. I learnt more on that History course than I did during three, painful years of an English undergrad.

Filled with the hopeless optimism that all – reasonably successful – graduates feel, having had “you’ll do great”, “you know loads”, “it’ll be tough but it’s worth it”, “getting a job for you will be easy..” rammed down your throat over years of following the traditional education system; I set off into the post-graduate world of unemployment and living back home with my parents. (Now, although my relationship with my parents is great and living at my childhood home is a breeze – there is nothing quite like the unfiltered freedom that being a university student, living away from home brings.

“Find a job, boy! You’ve got rent to pay. Life ain’t free anymore.” I heard, first morning I wake up after a boozy night in the local pub reconnecting with friends. Ahh, awesome. Time to do some adulting… I can do that…

So, weeks turn into a months and I manage to land a job as a teaching assistant in a local primary school. I’d always thought of being a teacher; having the idea thrust on me a few times by a few of my school teachers who I quite liked and respected. Hmm, why not. Let’s give this a shot – I need a job, after all.

Wow, haven’t kids changed. They now answer back and are just horrid little sweary things that encourage a change in the education system – if the Totnesian model of ‘free-education’ has been proven not to work, I don’t know why the lack of discipline nowadays wouldn’t be any different. Anyway, 3 weeks later I left. It was a disaster and has certainly offered a sourer taste of teaching than I needed to pursue my pre-university intentions.

I’ve never wanted to be bored or content at work, or doing anything, to be honest. I have always enjoyed being challenged and stretched and learning. I knew that this needed to be my new criteria for the job search. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

So, I found myself a job helping to manage an office in London. “Okay, cool! The big smoke.” Failing to anticipate how expensive living to London would be, or how irksome commuting from Portsmouth to London every day would be – I eagerly accepted the role. It didn’t last very long as the monotony of working and commuting all the time got to me and being 22 with no social life and being unable to afford renting in London, I had to leave.

Now, I find myself incredibly bored, working in a law firm for an embarrassingly low wage – I know, I have a job, I should be grateful – but it is not for me and I have lost interest.

Thankfully, I have a couple of interviews lined up so hopefully things will start to change.

2024

This will be the year of blogging. At a minimum, once per month. 12/12 is the target, more than achievable and certainly plays into a 2024 goal of being consistent.

Topics to vary, we’ll see how we get on.

“New Year New Me”. Although, off the booze for a minimum of 12 months which will also support consistency.

The world

The world is vast and wide,
A place of wonder and surprise.
From mountains high to oceans deep,
The beauty of nature we can keep.

The sun rises in the east,
And sets in the west at peace.
The moon and stars light up the night,
A breathtaking sight that’s out of sight.

The world is full of people,
Different cultures and beliefs to mingle.
We all have stories to tell,
And lessons to learn as well.

The world is not perfect,
It has its flaws and defects.
But we can make a change,
And make it a better place to arrange.

Let’s cherish the world we have,
And protect it from harm and grave.
Together we can make a difference,
And create a world of love and existence.

From chat gpt

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

Quick and easy one today – the ability would have to be super stretch like Elastagirl in the Incredibles.

How many times have you been comfy, and wanted to grab something that was just out of reach? Too many to count, I imagine!

I also train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu so that would be incredibly helpful to be able to have incredibly stretchy joints.

How about you? What’s the superpower you wish you had? Chat in the comments 👊🏼

What I’ve learned from a year training Brazilian jiu-jitsu

Since January 2021, I’ve picked up a new hobby. I wanted to try some kind of martial art for a long time and ended up giving Brazilian jiu jitsu a go. I’ve been considering the benefits for a while now – here is what I think:

1. Self-defense: Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a martial art that focuses on grappling and ground fighting techniques, making it an effective self-defense system.
2. Physical fitness: Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a full-body workout that helps improve strength, flexibility, endurance, and cardiovascular health.
3. Mental health: Brazilian jiu-jitsu requires focus, discipline, and problem-solving skills, which can help reduce stress and improve mental well-being.
4. Community: Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a social activity that offers the opportunity to meet new people and build a supportive community.
5. Competition: Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournaments provide the opportunity to test skills and compete against others, which can help develop confidence and sportsmanship.
6. Skill development: Brazilian jiu-jitsu requires learning and mastering a variety of techniques, which can help develop cognitive skills and improve overall coordination.

Overall, starting Brazilian jiu-jitsu can provide numerous physical, mental, and social benefits. It is important to consider that everyone is bad when they first start, find a safe gym with a good environment and get going.

What is the last thing you learned?

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows”

Epictetus

I’ve just started listening to the Bedros Keullian show on Spotify and one of the quotes that stood out to me was: How you do anything is how you do everything.

What this means is, if you do anything, do it with your best ability, because if you don’t, you won’t do anything with your full ability. Another way of considering this is sweat the small stuff because all the small stuff adds up to the big stuff.

Secondly, I’ve been a follower of Stoic philosophy for a while now – a couple of years to say the least, following the Jocko podcast (although not explicitly Stoic, his thoughts and advice aligns closely with that of your perception of an event determines your reality. After some recent experiences, this couldn’t be closer to the truth.

How you view a situation determines whether it’s good or bad and the better your perception, the more you can cope with.

Short and sweet for now, going to try and keep this up.

University debt culture

So; one of the main things that university inadvertently encourages is debt – not just in the form of heinously large student loans (with interest!) but also with overdrafts.

There was a strange attitude around how overdrawn people were in uni, with it almost being comedic to have been overdrawn more than a friend. “Oh, you’re only 500 quid over, you’re loaded mate you still have 1500 quid left!” Failing to realise that actually, that money “left” is what is left of what the bank would give you… not your actual money. It’s just another hole that you have to climb out of when you leave and have to get a job.

This could’ve just been me and my perception, trying to hide behind bullshit bravado rather than take personal responsibility and do something about it. Students don’t take responsibility, right?

Now, I don’t think this is a problem with the universities as institutions themselves, I think it becomes more of a problem with society. Or at least, the carefree nature of student society.

Having a part time job was fantastic to allow me to eat, but it also meant that I would get paid weekly. This meant that it didn’t matter if I’d run out of money by Wednesday, I would borrow a few quid of a friend and pay him back when Friday came around again. But, what I didn’t click onto was this three year attitude of “oh, it’ll be okay” should quickly change when you leave.

It becomes very hard to unlearn old habits. You can’t instil a new habit unless you have the want and need to do so and the discipline to implement it. Turning this on overnight certainly isn’t impossible, but it’s challenging.

I would say it took me nearly 18 months to get over the fact that that I wasn’t at uni anymore. Not that I wasn’t a student, but that those thought processes would not serve me.

A combination of no responsibility (no kids and living at home with my parents), a few low paying jobs in fairly quick succession and no one aside from my parents to say buck your ideas up. Not a great recipe. (Why would I listen to my parents when I’m 21 and I know everything!!?) (Lol – moron).

Which gets me back to not going to university immediately at 18. You are too young and have no real world exposure yet to a) fully make the most of your degree (no one cares about your 2:2! and b) to learn some money skills which will serve you quickly when you leave

I’ve discussed the age topic before but the money skills is very important. Something that many educational facilities miss and something you are left to try and learn yourself (with help from your parents if you’re interested in being taught).

Maybe it could be an ongoing topic during uni – “money management”, or perhaps, students are penalised/ not able to sit essays/ exams if they are overdrawn? Thus creating a better understanding of the importance of money management. Take a couple of years to build a base line – go to university but still keep those finances in check – and then you’re free to enter the real world.

Perhaps with hindsight that would’ve been a good idea for me. But, hindsight is a lovely thing and no one knows the impact of any decision.

Social media experiment – part 3.

So, today at the time of writing – it’s been just over one month since I quit social media (Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). I hadn’t actively used Facebook for a very long time but the account was deactivated anyway.

What have I discovered? Well, in the last month, I have definitely become more engaged with tasks. I am no longer skipping between what I’m doing and my phone. I can read a book for a longer period of time, am able to hold conversation better with people, and generally just don’t have a need to be on my phone.

Mainly and most importantly though – I am not concerned with the day to day chaos that social media (Twitter really) throws at you in a bid to keep you engaged. I don’t have a want to argue with everyone I see who opposes my viewpoint and there is no need to constantly check the latest “crisis” that needs me to be informed on and waste my time pandering over.

My life no longer revolves around every disaster or political issue or divisive conflict. Instead I can just focus on living my life and not be distracted by all of the noise that social media brings through its tirade of fake “influencers” and algorithm induced polarisation.

I would definitely say my life has improved in the last month; less chaos and frustration. Life brings enough frustration as it is, why do I need an AI created feed to give me more? “Because everyone else is on there!” Good for them – I don’t need to be like everyone else to enjoy myself.

To paraphrase Jared Lanier – the best way to escape the insanity of the modern day is to delete your social media accounts.

Do yourself a favour and delete them, if not delete them then just delete the app for a few days and give yourself a break, you won’t regret it!

Social Media Experiment part 2.

So, with the week long experiment over, I have decided to continue the no social media use for the foreseeable future. Having spent time away from both Twitter and Instagram, I’ve realised how little it actually offers my life.

It helps to bridge the gap between doing something and doing nothing: in the sense, you’re mindlessly scrolling but you aren’t actually achieving anything – distracting, basically.

For a long time I was on Twitter under the guise I was “learning” and “keeping informed”. But, what did I learn? Other than the opinions of some qualified people and some not qualified people.. I didn’t learn anything. Keeping up with the addiction of needing to know wasn’t getting me anywhere, either. Only distracting me from being present in what I am doing.

My observations that I noted are as follows:

Day 1: screen time at 2pm – 1hr 9 mins. Occasional want for scrolling via Instagram but it stops when I see the app isn’t there. Battery usually close to dead by this time but at 50% still!

Screen time end of day 1- 3 hours 30 minutes. I saw zero inflammatory information and I found that my phone uses were for tangible purposes today as consciously seeking to use the phone for something productive. Also began reading “10 arguments to delete your social media accounts right now” and to be honest, if an initial creator of social media is stating that we should all delete our accounts now before we end up in hell, I think he’s worth at least considering. Especially with “the majority of Silicon Valley CEOs sending their kids to Waldorf schools” (which are anti technology).

Anyway. It’s 11pm, I’m going to finish my tea and head to bed. I look forward to day 2.

Day 2:

1200 – 2 hours screen time.

It’s easier to be more productive or do nothing.

Doing nothing quickly becomes boring so doing something productive then becomes the only option.

Another day of no inflammatory thoughts or negative reactions. A slight urge for the dopamine feedback loop but nothing over controlling to reinstate the carnage. A quote from the book – “the best way to escape the insanity of society is to delete social media” Jared Lanier.

I have found myself sending more pointless texts to friends to try and gain entertainment that is missing through social media

Usual desire for lunchtime scrolling is back and the want to see the purple camera of Instagram was high. Day 2 and no constant dopamine feedback loop is becoming a slight struggle. What do I think about? How do I entertain myself In my mind? The “lost” feeling ended by the time I got home which led to a much easier evening

Day 3: woke up early this morning, instead of wanting to look through social media, I looked at old pictures and reminisced on actual memories rather than got jealous about other people doing things.

Beginning to feel freer from my phone. It’s an asset not a time consuming constrain. Mental engagement has increased in individual tasks – no longer feel like I’m distracted by things as easily like NEEDING to check for an update. What am I going to miss? Some Instagram model uploading a picture of her ass? A fitness person uploading a workout… the world will still keep turning.

I’m studying for a nutrition course and I have just opened up onto a new module page – I have seen the course provider on Instagram repost people’s pictures of themselves studying and I tried to take the same photo for an app I’m not using. Interesting 🤔

Day 4: didn’t even realise I was missing it until a friend mentioned a new choice for the England rugby squad. Spent more time on emails and meaningful messages

Day 5: don’t even think about using it. Thoughts are way more collected – phone use is more productive: ie – learning about finance, investing and cryptos, etc. What trends on Twitter doesn’t matter anymore, it’s no longer a “big deal”. Daily “breaking news” – can you remember yesterday’s headline?

Far more peaceful/ free of trigger points – whether that be an opinion I disagree with or an inflammatory discussion about some new “woke” movement where the PC police decide what is right and wrong to say. Thoughts are free and Ungoverned

“I like the world again; far less chaos”

What happens in other countries etc doesn’t matter to me – it helps me to understand what I can and can’t control

Day 6: Saturday lunchtime- screen time 23 minutes. No need/ want or desire to get back to my phone

Enjoyed a phone free breakfast, talking with family and enjoying the moment, technology free. Interesting change in one week.

Absolutely no want to even browse Instagram and looking at family members on Instagram / Facebook mindlessly scrolling is a strange thing to consider normal

Not even a conscious thing on Sunday. Nothing to note as no thoughts about it. Screen time down 22% on the previous week. Still high but a lot better use of the phone

Overall, I think I have done well in 1 week. I have changed my use and don’t feel beholden to checking Instagram or Twitter every second. I will be continuing along this path for a bit longer to see what else I notice about the social media machines.

Basic productivity hacks

I’ve been thinking for a while how to become more productive and use my time a bit better. What can I implement to stop the same: “oh I wish I had time for that..” “I don’t know how they do it all..” etc etc. So, my three thoughts that I kept coming back to are…

Stop drinking.

A period of sobriety will not only make you feel better but you’ll also have more money, more time and more energy to get on with the things that truly matter; rather than trying to right the wrongs of the world, half cut – seeing double whilst sucking in your double chin and beer bloat.

Now, removing alcohol alone won’t be the saviour to your inconsistencies and your time wasting, but, it’ll give you a lot more opportunities. Early mornings, some evenings, etc. By filling your drinking time with productive time, you’ll achieve more and feel better about what you can accomplish – exercise, your ever growing to do list, etc.

Saturday will mark a month off the booze for me and I’ve been exercising better (more frequency and intensity) and reading more – so it does work – and just generally feeling better too but that’s not the point here.

Start exercising.

40 minutes of heart raising exercise, whether that be cardio or body weight exercises (sit ups, press ups, squats, etc) it’ll boost your endorphins, you’ll feel better once you’ve finished and any challenge that you need to take on will feel significantly more manageable. If you can, try and keep your exercise to the early morning, getting a positive action in first thing will only lead to move positivity throughout the day.

Plan.

Plan what you want to do, what you want to achieve. A strict “To Do” list is important so you know what you need to get done and it can be empowering to visually see the list crumble as you plough through it in your hive of productivity.

Ideally, write your list the night before. That way you have set your intentions for the following day, read it when you first wake up to reaffirm those intentions and get it done, tick them off as you go and reflect in the evening about what you have achieved. By going to bed fulfilled, you’ll be more likely to want to have a good day again tomorrow – after that – positive routine becomes hard to break.

Let me know how you get on! 👊🏼

Writing about writing

How do you constantly generate new content when you don’t constantly do new things?

One thing I have come to realise is that blogging – albeit for a hobby – requires a lot of work. Reading, idea generating and being constantly observant of your surroundings. It is important to pay attention in your environment and keep your eye out for anything that you think is worth writing about.

Whilst this has been commented on by many other real writers – who are both better than me and/ or professional, it is still something that is worth discussing. Maybe by producing this post, I’ll be better equipped to understand my own processes and ensure that I can do it on a more regular basis. As, I began to have the itch to write a new blog as “I haven’t done it in a couple of weeks” which was actually longer than a month. No readership can be generated with that long a gap.

Working on a single idea takes time. That is something that many of us doing want to use effectively – the instant gratification of social media or the hours of endless Netflix – it’s difficult to stop things that produce instant dopamine.

The usual concerns will always happen – what if I write about that? Who will like it? Who cares? Do I care? But; frankly – none of those questions matter. I just need to do what I want to, write about what I like but for fun and enjoying the process of researching, playing with ideas and getting things done. The satisfaction of creating “the finished article”, compared with wondering about what I should write on next.

Time to get disciplined with this.